April 8So I tried to post a week ago and wrote this big long thing and my computer didn't post OR save it, so I've been boycotting blogspot haha...
First off, I just have to say how great it has been to share stories and insights with all my family and friends. I feel like I've spending most of my time just meeting up with people and catching up and TELLING. I obviously love sharing :) so it has been great. Although, I can tell you that some people are wonderful and jsut get it, and have a heart for everything I tell them, while some are indifferent and go on worrying about their own petty problems, neglecting the thought of people actually starving to death. And I have to tell myself, "Fine, Erin, we are all called to our own way of serving and glorifying God"...ahhh..
I ran into this absolutely RAD lady who has a funky, exotic little jewelry shop in Solana Beach who had some great insights. She too was a world traveler (I think she was my fairy godmother), she has been ALL over the world- South to North Africa, Morocco, India, Afghanistan, all of Europe, Nepal and on and on...Her store consists of very curious, yet gorgeous artifacts and souveniers from her travels. She was telling Emily P and I that, no matter how much you talk or share, any experience will only be your OWN experience and you can't give it to anyone else. As much as we can try or tell of the deepest feelings we have had, we can never really share the whole experience.
I've become more content in that advice, knowing that I can give you every single dirty detail you want, and I love to, but I will still always have my own inner, deepest experiences. God has individual experiences for each of us to jump through, personalized for our own hearts and minds and souls. He knows every hair on our head, just as He knows exactly what we need to go through to learn and grow. He is so darn smart!
Last weekend I got to go on a retreat with the amazing people of Revival bible study/fellowship group. Led by one of the very influencial couples to my relationship, Scott and Kaitlyn Cheo brought about 15 of us up to Lake Arrowhead for a weekend to be led truly by the Spirit. As I look back on the weekend as a whole, I don't feel like we DID anything super crazy, but realized so much. The "theme" or focus of the weekend was the Spirit, and listening to Him and letting Him guide our every move. Not until that weekend, did I realize how truly present the Spirit is, and the adversary spirit, in our every day lives.
Obviously on my trip to the Philippines, I felt SO led by the Spirit of God, and really let Him take over me. It has been hard to hang on to that because back home, I have my daily routines and habits and tend to do my own thing. It is a struggle for all of us.
April 14It is so funny how we (especially Americans) are so oblivious to the spiritual warfare around us. Like I was saying I was on this super spiritual high, and right when we set in to being comfortable with our relationship with Christ, we fall. We can never be less dependent on Him, we always need Him.
This past weekend was full of ups and some very downs. Gosh, it just makes me think of how stupid we can be sometimes for thinking we got it, no matter how great our relationship or walk is. Praise be to God for His endless mercy. Prayer and fellowship has been so soothing to my soul. Everyone who I have been seeing, I am just so grateful for all the wonderful people He has placed in my life. Everyone who has been a true friend, who has taught me something, who has brought me closer to God. So thankful.
I ask your awesome blessings on my sweet cousin Meggan in Ethiopia. You have filled her heart, and she is truly seeking you and living to serve you. If it be your will, make her walk there to be smooth and full of your Spirit. Bring peace to her and Tim's hearts as they become a bigger family with the two girls. I lift their family up to you Lord, that you will shed a mantel of love and peace over them.
Thank you for my family Lord. I am so thankful to have fellowship with Kevin and John and Bridget and my parents. Thank you for the Chadwicks.
Help me stay focused on you Lord. There are so many distractions, and I can only be focused with Your powerful hand. Send me whatever it is I need to keep serving you. I am here, I am Yours.
I love you,
Revival Retreat 2011
Precious girls, always in my heart <3