Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Feeling Bold

I feel like life is unraveling so fast for me. Fall is over. It's almost Christmas. It's almost the new year. It's almost February. It's almost mission time.

I just sent out the "Hey-family-and-friends-give-me-a-little-love-in-funds" letter, so to all you who recieved it and are now checking my blog- you mean the world to me. Just the fact that you took the time to read this is so important. I want you to know that I do not like asking for money AT ALL. I had originally planned on avoiding it altogether, but I soon realized that this trip is not possible without you. I have no idea how much money has been sent so far, and honestly, I don't really want to know. I am horrible with money stuff. I believe so strongly that this is God's plan, and I trust that He will make it happen through you.

Today has kind of been a downer for me. It was one of those mornings. I lazily slept in too late, was late to work (taco Tuesday), made a whopping $35 dollars after way too much work, and haven't seen my boyfriend in a few days. I came home and ate, and started talking to my Dad about God stuff; something that has become a typical occurrence for us. He was telling me about God's covenants to man, and how in our sin, we could never really keep our end of the bargain- hence why He had to send His own son to help us out. We talked about the Eucharist and confession and all this super deep stuff that I am still swimming around in. He showed me a video of Fr. John Corapi called America's Death Wish which stirred a very deep stir inside me.

My boyfriend Cameron and his tight knit group of "Resistance" boys had grazed the surface of the same kind of idea. I feel like our American society has been going downhill for a while now, and falling more and more away from God and what is morally right. First it was birth control, an earthly control of one of God's most precious gifts to us human beings- life. Then abortion, even more earthly control, and the direct termination of life. Now infanticide, taking life away even outside the womb, and Euthanasia , convincing ourselves that the sick and dying aren't worth our care or even time. Our society has taken sex, another one of the most precious gifts from God, and cheapened it to dirt, twisting its whole meaning and purpose to something so earthly. Our culture advertises ultimate success and happiness as money and material things, rather than the reality of ultimate success and happiness to be eternal life with God in heaven. How much further away from Him can we get? What more does it take for God to make flood #2 or the "fall of Rome" aka the United States??

I know this probably sounds rather bold, but I feel like it would be wrong of me not to say anything. We should be bold in our stance for Christ, not bending for a trend, or a law, or a person; not only staying strong, but even sharing God's word. Jesus commanded us to go out and spread His love and share His glorious name to ALL NATIONS, not just Valley Center, San Diego, California, or even the United States. I understand God has a different plan and a specific job for every single one of us, but wherever we end up in this earthly life, I assure you, as Christians we are supposed to be doing all of these. He is coming. I want all of you to be on that arc for the next flood, whether it is in our lifetime or not.

I want to be in some third world country right now to hold an orphan, feed someone starving or just comfort someone in desperation. I know it is different to write this or say it, than to actually be there and do it, but I can't help it. The tug on my heart is stronger every day. That same tug from blog post number one last spring. Now it's like a bulldozer. Not only has God been teaching me patience, but he has been teaching me more about Him to prepare me for everything I am about to be a part of. I have underestimated prayer in the past, but today, I feel it. Anyone who has read this- even the simplest prayers can be so powerful. I appreciate every single one.

My prayer is that wherever we are in life, to be bold in your name. Lord, send your Holy Spirit to give us that boldness, that courageous spirit and the endurance to trust in you through anything. Merciful God, I pray for all of those who do not know you yet. Open doors for them. I pray for all of the fatherless, especially T and Rasta girl. Thank you for everything you have given us. You are magnificent. Amen.